Today, I decided to use the internet for its noblest purpose; that is, to engage in intellectual discussion with my peers. (Noble = anything that isn't porn.) My mistake?
I used XboxLive to do it.
I don't think such an immense gathering of 12 year olds exists anywhere else, apart from Saturday at Neverland Ranch.
Seriously, aren't 12 year olds supposed to be playing with Barbie dolls, eating boogers, and learning to tie their shoes or something? What are they doing playing M rated games online so late at night? And why are they such assholes?!
These 12 year old pricks already have a limited vocabulary, but they have been able to somehow learn, and utilize, every cussword imaginable. Like a pint sized sailor. I don't even cuss as much as these kids, and thats cause I do a shitload of cussing. A typical conversation was as follows:
Elem08: "Hey, let me ride backseat in that car."
xXN°0()O°BSL@Y3R0IXx: "GET YOUR OWN FUCKING CAR FUCKING FUCK!"
This introduces a very interesting dilemma. Now, I can react one of two ways. I could go out and pull out my own arsenal of cuss words, call the kid a "shitmongling scrotalgnome", and all other kinds of gems, but what does that accomplish? For one thing, I would have just cussed at a 12 year old. There's really is no way to justify that kind of behavior, even for me. That would provide no personal gratification and make me feel like an idiot. So I just state the obvious.
Elem08: "You're 12. I've already won this argument."
xXN°0()O°BSL@Y3RB0IXx: "YOUR FUCKING STUPID IM 13 IN 2 MONTHS YOUR JUST FUCKING JEALOUS CAUSE I AM THE BEST N00BSLAYER IN THE DAMN UNIVERSE!!"
Elem08: "Hey, remember that time I drove? You know, in real life? Or that time I bought, uh, this game without having to have Mommy or Daddy with me? I'm still winning, and I've got more."
xXN°0()O°BSL@Y3RB0IXx: (Unintelligible shouting, possibly English, most likely an urgent cry for more chocolate milk)
And not ALL kids are trying to be assholes. In fact, many are just new at the game, and trying to learn how to play.
This doesn't change the fact that they are annoying. as. fuck.
Yes, to win you have to shoot the other team.
No, the other team.
Yes, your microphone is working.
No, I don't want to hear you sing Avril Lavigne's new CD.
I said I didn't want to hear it.
Yes, your microphone is (unfortunately) still working.
Being the nice guy that I am, I answer all the questions that these kids have, and they always ask to add me to my friends list. That's right, at this point the majority of my friends list is probably still elementary school. Oh well, they are mostly harmless.